'Tis a gift to be simple

Yesterday, I received my Reiki II attunements. It is something I've been wanting to do for quite some time, but even so, I did not do very much to make it happen. I had made arrangements with my dear friend and teacher, Andrea, to do some web design work in exchange for the attunement and instruction on how to best use the gifts it would bring. Between delays on both of our ends, it took many months before we set a date, and all that time, I kept wondering why I didn't push harder to get to that point.

However, I think it all had to happen as it happened. Instead of getting the attunements early on, I spent the last several months doing more work on Andrea's web site, this time with her as a "paying" client. At first, I treated it like any other job, and paid attention mainly to the technical aspects of getting it up and running. I seldom really read the content I was posting, and gave only the most cursory glances at the newsletters she sent. It occured to me on more than one occasion that I should be reading things more closely, that I should be preparing for the attunements I would eventually receive. I knew that simply *thinking* about Reiki as a result of working with this content would make it flow through my hands, but I think I was somehow just not open to its gifts during this winter. An attunement during this time might not have been right.

A few days ago, I finally truly read through all of the Reiki newsletters, reviewed my manual, and began memorizing the symbols Andrea had left in an envelope on my porch, but even yesterday, I went into the experience feeling like I had to do it, it was time already, I had put it off long enough, and on an intellectual level, I wanted to do it. On some levels, though, I was making myself go through with it. It was not something I felt elated about when the day began -- I was distracted and feeling open in a very passive way, as though my mind was saying "Well, it can't HURT to do this -- you may as well, right?" Not the right frame of mind for receiving a precious, sacred gift!!!!

So, while I was straightening up my house in preparation for Andrea's arrival, I decided to gather my thoughts about me and muster up more enthusiasm. I opened all the curtains and decluttered the spaces I thought we'd use. I stepped out onto my back porch and breathed the cool air out in my garden, and I peeked in on my dill plants, which had finally sprouted. Those plants, sprouted from seeds I had scattered in a pot with little hope that they'd really grow, had become fluffy little sproutlings, destined now to give us real live dill in the next few months. I decided then to let this attunement and teaching be like another live thing I plant -- to sprout in hope that the universe will care for it. I know the reiki energy to be real and vital no matter how able the gardener. As I stepped back inside, the doorbell rang, and there was Andrea.

When I saw the face of my friend for so many years, my partner in parenting babies, the person who was to share with me a gift she held so dear, I knew it was just the right time. She was so happy to be there, and as we spent the day together talking through what I needed to know and what I wanted to know, I found myself relaxing and enjoying the sensation of having no expectations and no responsibility to make it happen. This energy would come to me, ancient and eternal, to use as I want and need.

As I type, my hands are glowing inside. I lay them on the keys of my computer and feel the heat come back at me, wafting between my fingers and reminding me of the only responsibility I have ever really had in this regard: to be open to possibility.